What Motivates and Empowers a Woman?

Penny Taylor asks, did you know that…

Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished? It is a great feeling of motivation to feel cherished, defended and protected.

 

What are some communication techniques that help a woman to feel cherished?

 

Ø    If a woman is upset and someone will stay with her and continue to listen to her, even if her feelings come out in muddled confusion at first, after awhile she will begin to feel better and she will feel cherished and cared for.

Ø    If a woman is left alone when she is upset, she feels abandoned and as if she is defenseless in a dark and lonely world and she will seek to find someone else to talk to—someone who will listen and thereby fulfill her need. She will feel cherished by the person that understands and cares enough to spend the time to cherish her at that vulnerable time.

Ø    If the person she longs to receive this support from abandons her at this critical time she will struggle to keep resentment from crowding out her loving feelings for that person.  

Ø    A man that uses gentle ways and good manners makes a woman feel cherished and respected. She will respond to his good manners by trusting him with her feelings. His actions make her believe that she will find validation and then that will create the feeling of being cherished that she longs for.

Ø    If a woman feels criticized or is treated harshly for sharing her vulnerable feelings, she will withdraw her affection and her trust and seek another avenue of help for this crucial need.

 

Because of this it is very important that a woman act in such a way as to elicit the quality in a man that longs to protect and cherish her. Men have two sides—one that defends and protects and the other that attacks and destroys. It is important in a relationship that the woman remains on the protected side and not on the side that is attacked. Only in this manner will she be motivated to enjoy her relationship.

 

What communication skills can ladies learn to facilitate this?

Ø    Blaming does not work. It only makes the other feel like attacking.

Ø    Learn to say these simple words as often as you feel it is appropriate: “It’s not your fault.”

Ø    Accusing words, such as “You always…” or “Why did you…” elicit the attacker.

Ø    Learn instead to say, “I feel as if…” This invites the protector.

 

Penny’s Caution:

Never abuse his desire to protect you by creating trauma just so that you can enjoy the feeling of being rescued. Instead, learn to respond to little feelings of being cherished and express pleasure. This will create an atmosphere in your relationship of him being needed by you and you feeling cherished by him.

pennytaylortalks@apostolicherald.com